truths about birth that all mamas should know

When we were going through the birthing experience, there were lots of things that took place that we didn't really expect! Yes, there were a few things that people told us would happen after birth that would be uncomfortable and/or kind of gross -but actually experiencing it brought a whole new level of uncomfortableness that we couldn't have been prepared for. This post is definitely not meant to scare you or make you dread labor and your postpartum body -you are strong and will soon forget about all of these little surprises. Our hope is that this blog post will prepare you with all of the realities that come with bringing your little baby into this world. All of these things don't happen to everyone! We both delivered vaginally and still had different outcomes when it came to discomfort and pain, post-birth and during birth. Because of this, we do not know what your post-birth experience will be like after having a c-section (if that is how your story goes), but we hope that this post will still help you!

Here are some things that happened to us that you may need to prepare yourself for! 

• Water breaking
• The first thing I said when my water broke was, "I think I just peed myself." It was such a weird feeling. I was laying in the hospital bed, somewhat asleep, and all of a sudden the bed was full of warm liquid. It came in spurts, not all at once for me! -Shelby
• My water broke a little bit (Is that the right way to say it?) around 3 a.m. when I got up to pee in the middle of the night and that's when we started packing up to go to the hospital - I thought that maybe it was just less amniotic fluid than I had expected and that I was all ready to go because I began having small, close contractions on our way! It turns out that my body had definitely not flushed everything out - the doctors decided that they wanted to induce me that early morning anyway because of high blood pressure, and when I sat down in my labor room bed and they were preparing my induction, my water fully broke where I was sitting! It was a huge WHOOSH feeling - I thought it actually felt nice because it relieved some of the swollen-ness and pressure I felt. Plus, they didn't have to induce me! -Megan
• Pushing out the placenta
• So, neither Shelby nor I remember pushing out our placenta - that is how wrapped up in that little baby you will be when it comes out! I was nervous for the placenta part, but I honestly didn't even know that it came out and I never even saw it. Nothing to be nervous about! - Megan
• Tearing
• When I was giving birth, all of the Doctors thought that Rhett was going to be around 6 lbs since we were delivering 8 days early, but he turned out to be 8 lbs 6 oz. They weren't prepared for him to be as big as he was, which means they didn't know I probably should have gotten cut (yes, in most cases Doctors cut your vagina so that you don't tear on your own, so you may possibly have to prepare for this as well). Instead, I tore naturally. The good news is I don't remember how it felt, I actually didn't even know it happened. It was afterward while I was healing that it hurt the most! -Shelby
• Pushing on your stomach afterward
• This part is so uncomfortable and honestly kind of made me want to punch the nurse! Haha. Just breathe through it. It's not really that bad, I guess. -Shelby
• A six-week period after birth
• Yep. You bleed for weeks, possibly months after giving birth. It's like the longest period of your life! -Shelby
• Your OBGYN will usually schedule you to come in for a six-week checkup after baby to make sure your body is healing and you are feeling well. This is often how long many women wait to exercise or be intimate with their partner again, to avoid injury and pain.
• Swelling & soreness after stitches
• Because I tore, they had a lot of numbing & stitching up to do. This took place while Rhett laid on my chest and I was so overwhelmed with feelings of love for him that my mind wasn't really focusing on the stitches. However, when I went to the bathroom for the first time afterward, I freaked out at the swelling! It was the weirdest thing and it was so sore to the touch that going to the bathroom was always terrifying. -Shelby
• Squirt bottle = toilet paper
• For about 2 weeks postpartum (Give or take a few days - I can't remember exactly how long!) my little hospital-grade squirt bottle was my best friend. (Besides Chris and our tiny bundle of joy, of course.) You will be sore, and going pee will not be your favorite time - just fill the squirt bottle with cool water and it honestly does help with soreness. You can't use toilet paper for a little while - but I can promise you that you will definitely not want to be using it! Give yourself that time to heal. Try not to use the bottle as a squirt gun on your partner after you've been up all night nursing and they've been dozing peacefully. (Juuuust kidding - Chris was very helpful, ha ha!) - Megan
• I agree with Megan! These are lifesavers. Kind of makes me wish I always used a squirt bottle instead of toilet paper... ha ha! -Shelby
• No poo for weeks
• Thankfully, this is one issue that everyone warned me about, but I never really had to deal with! I took Colace (stool softener) every day for a couple months just to help me out when I went, but it never was as bad as everyone told me it was for them! Hopefully, you get lucky like I did! -Shelby
• You guys, this WAS something that I had to deal with! It was not fun. My body would just not want to go to the bathroom - and when it finally did come, I was freaking out because I was worried it would be painful! Just make sure you take stool softeners often because not going #2 for DAYS is kind of scary. (But also totally normal!) - Megan
• How your belly feels
• Very, very squishy! Ha ha. When you leave the hospital, your organs are still slowly going back where they belong, so don't expect to leave looking like you did pre-pregnancy - your body will go back, but it takes a little time. I remember Chris and I laughing at how my belly felt right after I had Ben - just a big squish because of all that sudden empty space! - Megan
• Engorgement

• All I have to say is OUCH! Engorgement is the worst. Even if you think you're going to exclusively breastfeed and never give your baby a bottle, GET A PUMP! Personally, my favorite pump is my hand pump. It is worth it to have just in case. When I went through engorgement that first day home, I was almost in tears because of the pain. -Shelby
• I completely agree with Shelby! My insurance covered a really wonderful electronic pump, so I used that often, but I also loved my little inexpensive manual pump! I would bring it when we ran errands - plus, the one I used was only around thirty dollars from Medela, and I ended up using it more often than my electronic once I got used to pumping milk. - Megan
• Contractions being more painful than pushing
• I think we've all been raised to believe that birth hurts because a child is coming out of your vagina. But in all honesty, the contractions were far more painful than anything else when it comes to my birthing experience. I don't remember how it felt down there, all I remember is the pain from the contractions and the feeling of Rhett sliding out! -Shelby
• I agree with Shelby - contractions were far more painful than pushing. I had an intense urge to push (which I discuss later!) which made it very intense and uncomfortable when I was pushing, but it wasn't painful. I chose to wait as long as I could with contractions and then get an epidural - I don't regret it! - Megan
• Emotional intensity when baby arrives
• I had heard from just about everyone how amazing it is when your baby comes out. Everyone has different experiences and feelings when they first see baby, but both Chris and I were surprised at how emotional and awestruck we both were at the sight of Ben for the first time. I couldn't stop crying when I saw him - he was the most perfect thing I had ever seen. That being said, some people experience different feelings, so if you feel differently after birth, that doesn't mean that you won't feel absolutely amazed by your little one later on! Labor can be pretty overwhelming. - Megan
• I agree with Megan. This was very overwhelming for me. My body went into shock after I delivered Rhett and I don't remember much, except for how it felt to finally have him on the outside of me. I fell in love with him right away. The first thing I remember saying after delivering was "oh crap," because I knew I would want another one. Even after the awful pregnancy I had, that moment I met Rhett was so impactful that I knew I would want to do it again. -Shelby
• Nipple soreness
• Whew, those nipples can get sore when your milk first comes in! When baby is first learning to latch and there are some latching mistakes being made, your nipples can get pretty raw. Just use natural nipple cream and make sure to talk to a lactation consultant while you're in the hospital or at your baby's pediatrician to make sure your latch is looking good! - Megan
• Baby blues

• Many mamas get baby blues - it's a huge change and it's kind of a whirlwind. One day, you're pregnant and chilling out with all this extra free time and plenty of sleep - not to mention time to spend with your partner, and suddenly you are very newly postpartum (can you say hormones???), you are ridiculously exhausted, your entire body is sore, and a tiny human is taking up your heart and your energy. It is COMPLETELY normal to feel sad and frustrated sometimes - it's a lot of change to deal with, not only with yourself but also with your relationship, and that's okay. However, if you feel prolonged, deep sadness, talk to your doctor about it - some mamas also experience postpartum depression and anxiety, and it's important to ask for help if you need to - it's completely okay. - Megan
• I think because I had such awful depression & anxiety while pregnant, I was actually much happier postpartum. I finally felt good and had more energy, which is something I am extremely thankful for. However, I do remember feeling sad for no reason a few times. Don't hide it from others, seek help if it is taking over you! It is completely normal to have these feelings of frustration, loneliness, and overall sadness. By seeking help, you are not only doing what is best for you but also what is best for your baby. -Shelby
• Urge to push
• I learned very recently that this doesn't happen with every labor - I had the most intense urge to push! That is when your body suddenly tells you that it NEEDS to begin pushing.  I told my nurse, "I think I need to start pushing." She told me to hold off, but I couldn't help it and I just started and barely stopped until Ben came out! It's the most intense feeling - like you need to use the bathroom, but about a million times stronger! The nurses and Chris kept telling me to take a breath and relax, but my body just wanted to put every ounce of energy and every moment into pushing! It was uncomfortable but I do think it helped motivate me and pumped me with adrenaline! - Megan
• Leaky boobs
• Nursing pads, nursing pads, nursing pads! Before your body gets into a breastfeeding routine, there are bound to be quite a few leaks. It is so sticky and uncomfortable, and can also lead to mastitis (inflammation of the mammary gland in the breast, typically due to bacterial infection via a damaged nipple if not kept clean). Make sure you switch out your nursing pads often so that there are no infections! It isn't healthy for your baby if you get a nipple infection either. -Shelby
• Totally agree with Shelby- nursing pads are so important! Leaky boobs are such a frustrating thing as well because you will look at your nursing pads and just think, "I could have used that milk!" When my milk supply began to decrease, I spent all day pumping for one big 8-ounce bottle of milk that I was taking on a car ride for Ben to eat while we were out. I set it in my backseat and it leaked all over the seat while I was driving, all of the milk pouring out. I actually cried in frustration when this happened because I was so sad all of that healthy milk was wasted - I guess you CAN cry over spilled breast milk! Ha ha. -Megan

Once again, none of this is here to scare you or make you feel nervous for labor - all of these things are completely normal and your body is an amazing system that heals itself naturally. Once you're a month or two postpartum, any bathroom issues or soreness you experienced will fade into distant memory. We hope that this helps prepare you -that new baby time is both so filled with this amazing new love and also very physically demanding, so try to take care of yourself and be patient with your body's process. (No jumping jacks one week postpartum to "bounce back"! Ha ha.) If you are pregnant, thinking back on when you were at this stage in life, or simply thinking about what this will be like one day in the future, know that we're with you and we are here for any help or advice you may need.

With love,

the mamas 💗