Being two stay-at-home mamas, we know the joys and hardships of being the full-time caregivers of our children. Some days are filled with love, adventure, snuggles, and fun with your baby -going on day trips, watching movies, seeing them grow each and every day. Some days are tough -lots of baby tears, loneliness, piles of dishes looming over the sink while you wipe the sweat off your brow and try to fold laundry while also nursing an upset baby (I may be speaking from experience with that one!) All in all, being a mama, whether staying at home, working part-time, or working full time, requires lots of patience, plenty of love, and some self-care. It's so easy to become a bit burnt out when your job requires you to be present morning and night and all over again, every day! We wanted to create a list that you can reference when looking for some ideas to make your life a little easier -some serious, some funny, and some just plain helpful!
- Comfortable Clothing
- The harsh reality of being a stay-at-home mama comes sooner than later. While you're changing a poopy diaper with smooshed food, spit up, and baby tears covering your shirt and boogers wiped in various spots on your pants, you'll realize that those beautiful blouses and super cute skinny jeans that you used to wear daily are probably going to mostly stay in the closet. Outfits like that kind of become specialties! Your daily wardrobe is most likely going to consist of comfy tees, comfy bottoms, and comfy underwear/bras. Every day I wear my trusty nursing bra (that I'm always talking about), a v-neck (perfect for nursing mamas), and either leggings or athletic shorts depending on the weather. It is easier to feel better when you are comfortable in what you're wearing. Especially when your day consists of running around cleaning and caring for an infant, who can be very messy! -Shelby
- You guys - comfy clothes are SO important! When you're carrying around a heavy, wiggly little baby who loves to grab your clothes, your hair, and your face, you want to feel comfortable and free to move. My stay-at-home wardrobe consists of leggings, loose tee-shirts, and sweatpants! I actually love buying new cozy sweatpants ha ha. I wear a lot of simple things for grocery shopping - leggings and a tee shirt or just a comfortable pair of shorts. Once babies become older kids, I think it will be a little easier to dress up, but with lack of time and lots of activity, it's best to feel cozy! - Megan
- Books/Podcasts
- Podcast, sweet podcast. For those who know me well, they know that I am a podcast lover. The funny thing is, I wasn't really into the whole podcast thing until I became a mama! I just think they are a really wonderful way to relax, learn new things, and relate to other moms while cleaning, nursing, driving, and folding laundry. My favorite podcasts are Coffee + Crumbs, Elise Gets Crafty, The Mom Hour, and The Simple Show. Reading is a wonderful way to relax at the end of the day - Some books I've been loving lately are French Kids Eat Everything by Karen Le Billon and Magic of Motherhood by Ashlee Gadd. - Megan
- Socialization
- This is SO important - it may be one of the most important ways to care for yourself! If you're a stay-at-home mom, it can feel lonely. If you're not a mama, you may be thinking, "You get to play with a baby all day. Why would you be lonely and how is that hard?" (Well I hope no one is thinking that exactly because that's kind of mean but you get the point!) Here's the thing - you stay at home all day long, and the only conversation you have is with a baby or little kids. You may be able to talk to your partner in the evening, which is wonderful, but not having any adult conversation all day long and no one to relate your experiences to can feel draining. I have had both mamas-to-be and other young mamas reach out to me, and I have reached out to other young moms that I know who are going through the same thing I am! That's how Shelby and I started this blog and began hanging out - we love to have playdates with our friend Aubree, who is another amazing young mom. (Aubree, if you're reading this, we love you! And if you're not, we still love you ha ha!) Being with them feels so nice - if one of our little ones begins to cry, we don't worry because we are all going through the same thing. When I'm able to see either other moms or my old friends during the day once a week or so, it really boosts my mood and makes my day so much brighter - plus, it's fun and nice to socialize your babies and get them out and about. - Megan
- What Megan said!! Socialization is so important for your sanity. Yes, it is amazing to be able to spend the whole day with your baby that you love SO much, but it can become so draining when you have no one to talk to. I have also noticed that Rhett needs the socialization just as much, if not more than I do. Whenever Rhett is able to go out and do something, he is so much more happy than if we are cooped up inside the apartment all day. Most days we go to my parent's house and he plays with my mom & little siblings. Rhett loves to be outside so most days I push him in the swing or take him swimming in the pool. Getting together with other mamas & babies is so much fun because you are able to chat about the everyday mama things that most people don't talk to you about! Plus, the babies get to play and it's so cute. -Shelby
- Essential Oils & Diffuser
- If you are like me and love more natural ways of living, look into purchasing some essential oils! I literally have an oil for everything and anything. Whenever I need a boost of energy, or I need a lift-me-up because I'm feeling gloomy, I pull out an oil and either use it on my body or put a few drops in the diffuser. When I feel like I have a sickness coming on, I use my oils and it's gone. It is amazing how fast the oils work! I love having a diffuser in the bedrooms as well as one in the kitchen -where it is able to reach the rest of our apartment. Because I am a stay-at-home mama, there are many days that I diffuse a motivating, uplifting, or refreshing blend. I have noticed that my energy and motivation levels have increased greatly, and I am able to get so much more accomplished during the day! If you have any questions about essential oils, contact me! I have been using them for a few years now and love what they have done for my family. I highly recommend them! -Shelby
- Caffeine
- The combination of being a barista at two different coffee shops and starting my coffee drinking young set me up to be a bit of a caffeine addict. Coffee has become kind of a popular thing in our culture - cue the artsy coffee shop shot posted directly to Instagram - but I mean... I get it. My little boost each morning when I groggily turn on my Keurig and take that first delicious sip gives me the energy I need to start my day on the right foot! (Not to mention my "iced mocha half the syrup keep the whip" that accompanies Ben and me on far too many Target runs and walks!) As Britney would say, "Whoops, I did it again!" - Megan
- Scrunchy
- I love scrunchies for a few reasons, one- they don't break as easily as normal hair ties so you aren't constantly throwing them away and buying more, two- they are better for your hair, three- they hold up thick hair so well! Rhett is constantly tugging on my hair if he has the chance. For the past seven months, I have had my hair down probably fewer times than I have fingers on one hand. Getting a couple of good scrunchies will be beneficial for your stay-at-home life with your rambunxious littles! -Shelby
- Netflix
- No shame - unwinding with a little bit of the old Netflix is a very normal thing for me. I often quietly watch TV while I'm putting Ben to sleep, and Chris and I love watching movies together. Some of my feel-good favorites on Netflix are Mamma Mia, Queer Eye, and Nailed It. I also love dramas and crime shows (for when Ben is asleep ha ha!) and some of my favorites are Mad Men, Big Little Lies, The Sinner, and any true crime show I can find! - Megan
- Netflix is a must for days when you just don't feel like doing anything, or if you want a movie on in the background for the good music, (*cough* Mamma Mia). When you are needing a break from all of the responsibilities that come from being a stay-at-home mama, Netflix is there for you. It understands if you just want to watch one episode to cool down or if you want to binge-watch an entire show. Netflix doesn't judge, and also doesn't tattle! (My favorites in case you're wondering: Friends, Parks & Rec, New Girl and the Office). -Shelby
- Something you love each day
- This may not work every day - some days are too busy and you are exhausted by the end of the day. If you need help finding time, ask your partner or a friend to let you have a bit of alone time, and do something you enjoy other than TV or your phone - whether that's painting a picture, reading a book, writing, going for a run, baking something really tasty, or doing some yoga. It's important to keep your brain and body challenged and learning new things. - Megan
- Sometimes I feel like I am not a very creative person -though Megan has told me otherwise, (thanks Megan ♡). But even if you aren't, it is still important to find the time to allow your brain to explore something of interest to you. For example, I like to cook, so sometimes in the evening when Michael gets home, I bake some muffins or cookies. I also have a small herb garden on our balcony that I tend to every day, and if I get a couple extra minutes, (like when Rhett is asleep) I like to read or write. I also try to find time to exercise in order to stay healthy and feeling good, (I do not do this as often as I'd like). Doing things like this will help you be less stressed and happier! "Me time" is important for your health whether you are a mama or not, so don't forget to squeeze some in when you aren't chasing a baby around. -Shelby
- Self-care items
- 1. If you like to write, get a good journal, (bullet journals are super trendy & cute!). You can do so much with a bullet journal. It can be your check-list, self-reflection, calendar, habit tracker, and so much more! 2. Bath bombs, bath salts, and bath soaps and even some candles are good to have around for those times on occasion that you are able to relax in a nice bath. 3. Peaceful and uplifting music is something that is important to me. I use my Bluetooth speaker almost daily as a lift-me-up while doing chores around the apartment -music is powerful! 4. A yoga mat and some light weights are great for if you just want to do little exercises here and there. 5. Also, make sure you have some good vitamins & healthy food to snack on during the day, and drink plenty of water. Taking care of your body and making sure you are healthy is important when you are also in charge of your children's well-being. -Shelby
- Functional car/diaper bag system
- This is super important! When you're a stay-at-home mom, you take your baby everywhere you go. When Ben was a newborn, I realized what an adjustment this was - I couldn't run out the door, pregnant belly bobbing, with just my purse anymore. I had my huge diaper bag, car seat, Ben, blanket, extra baby clothes, stocked bottles, and a manual pump! It felt like so much to bring everywhere, and I would get frustrated and just stay home. The thing is, I love taking Ben places! I always enjoy making part of our day for running errands, going somewhere fun, or going for a walk. If you're feeling overwhelmed by all the STUFF that accompanies babies, don't worry - you will get used to it and realize that you don't need to bring four thousand diapers to an hourlong car trip. I love my backpack diaper bag because I can throw it on my back and use it for everything! - Megan
- Yes, babies come with SO much stuff -but you do get used to it, and you realize what you do and don't need to have with you all of the time, especially when you are lugging your baby around everywhere you go, (another joy of being a stay-at-home mama). I love using a backpack diaper bag because it is so much easier to throw on when you are holding a 20-pound baby on your hip! There is also so much more space and durability in a backpack. We just use my backpack from college and it's perfect. -Shelby
- Realistic expectations
- Mamas, this one is huge. Don't make yourself feel like you need to clean the entire house, do all the grocery shopping, be the best mom in the whole world, look flawless, join the Peace Corps, and fly to the moon all in one day. That mom on Instagram with perfect hair that you keep envying has horrible mom days, too. She has gone through those stress-inducing Target bathroom blowout diaper changes, the nights filled with crying, the discomfort with her postpartum body, and bad mom days just like anyone else has. When I first became a stay-at-home mom, I would beat myself up if I didn't keep the entire house clean and feel like I did a perfect job with Ben - I would tell myself that I wasn't working a typical job, so I needed to step it up and constantly impress Chris with my ability to get a thousand things done every day effortlessly. Insert three hours of sleep every night, nursing around the clock, and living in a tiny apartment with too much stuff, and suddenly every day you feel you're coming up short. Be patient and gentle with yourself - you won't be your best mama self if you feel horrible about yourself all the time and keep telling yourself you're not doing enough! - Megan
- Megan said it perfectly -you need to know your limits. Understanding your limits is important for your health and your relationships. If you are too busy trying to get everything done on your endless to-do list and you don't take any time for yourself to have fun or relax and unwind, you are most likely going to be overworked & stressed. Those feelings can lead to frustration with your partner and children, and especially with yourself. When you become a mama you may feel like you're in competition with everyone else to be the best, but the truth is, nobody's perfect. You can make the best homemade baby food, dress your babies up in the cutest outfits, take the cutest pictures, have the cleanest house; but if you aren't happy, none of it matters. Keep realistic expectations for yourself. Make your goal to be happy and healthy, don't try to be perfect or better than anyone else! -Shelby
Take care of yourself, and breathe. You are doing an amazing job!
with love,
the mamas
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